CHEW TOY: A Calvin & Susie Original Dramatization (or When Pet Bloggers Get “Creative”)

A sunny Monday morning at Calvin & Susie. LOUISE is posting about new products on Facebook, JO is looking for new Christmas gear to bring in. Suddenly the front door bursts open, and a disheveled DOG OWNER scurries into the store. His shoes have holes and drool on them, his t-shirt has little nip marks at the hem. He is in need of help, of the doggie variety.


Hi! Can I help you out with anythi-


Chew toys! I need chew toys! I have…a chewer.


(sensing the urgency)

Alright, we can do that. So you need something tough?


Yes! Tough! Indestructible.


Oh! I see. Okay, well no dog toy is indestructible-


-it isn’t? (He whimpers) –


– but we can get pretty darn close! Let me show you a few…

There’s the Kong, it’s a favorite.

It’s a durable rubber toy that comes in Classic, like you see here, and Extreme, the black colored toys. These toys have been around for quite a while and have a reliable reputation for being tough chew toys. The great thing about Kongs is that you can stuff treats inside them, so your dog has to work to get them out. You can even freeze wet food inside the Kong and your dog will have a tasty “pupsicle” type treat!


That sounds good. (Tosses a Kong Classic in basket). What else you got? What if I want to play with her?


No problem. How about a plush toy?


Oh no! Chomper –


– You named your dog Chomper?


(points to to wriggling through chewed up shoe)

– it seemed appropriate. (LOUISE nods)

Anyway, Chomper will DESTROY a stuffed toy! There’s no WAY one can stand up to her jaws!


You may be surprised. What kind of dog do you have?


Uhhhhh, she’s like a, Doberman-Chihuahua-Lab-Badger mix? Around 65 pounds?


Okey dokey, let me show you our Mighty Ball.

This may look like a fuzzy, soft, dog toy, but it’s one of the toughest toys we have! The ball is not only covered in durable fleece, but has a double layer of super tough material underneath it. The entire ball is double stitched, AND it rates a “10” on the “Dura-Scale”. Mighty Balls and Tuffy Toys, like Polly Piggy,

are rated on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the least tough, 10 being the toughest. So the Mighty Ball, or even Polly Piggy or Sherman Sheep

might be a great choice for you and Chomper to play with!


Wow! Alright, I’ll take some of those (puts Mighty Ball and Sherman Sheep in basket). But what if I want to take Chomper to the park?

JO suddenly steps out from behind a shelf. Has she been there the whole time? She holds a Jive in her hand. She presents the Jive to DOG OWNER.


My little Jakey is quite hyper and has the attention span measured in nanoseconds. The only time that I’ve ever seen him actually focus on an activity is when he’s chasing after his Jive at the park. The Jive is great because it has the capability of bouncing really far and it also bounces in different directions because of it’s design. And it’s also very easy to throw and he can easily retrieve it because the shape allows it to fit nicely in his mouth.

If given the choice of pestering (and sometimes terrorizing) other dogs at the dog park and playing with his Jive, Jakey will take his Jive anytime!

DOG OWNER takes Jive from JO, and when he looks up, she has vanished.


Where’d she go?


She does that.

But the Jive is a great choice for you and Chomper! You can take it to the park, the beach, your backyard — anywhere you and Chomper want to play. Plus, even though it’s tough, it’s gentle on Chomper’s mouth, so she can chew on it as well.

We’ve had great feedback from some of our customers on the Jive. Some say it’s as close to indestructible as you can get!

And if Chomper does manage to tear it apart, West Paw (the manufacturer) will do a one time replacement for free! Did I mention it’s BPA-free and eco-friendly?


Sweet! (Puts Jive in basket. Starts to go to register, hesitates. Looks to LOUISE.)




Before I buy all these toys, I gotta ask, are they safe?


As long as you use them as they are intended, your dog should be fine. Always supervise your dog when you give them a new toy, to make sure they aren’t going to try to just swallow the whole thing. If you notice your dog has torn a toy apart, and there are little “swallowable” chunks sitting around, take the toy — and the chunks — away. We generally recommend that you don’t leave your dog alone with a new toy.

Plus, we’re really picky about what toys make it onto our shelves. So if there are any suspicious materials or sourcing locations involved in the making of the toy, we won’t stock it.

If we won’t give it to our pets, then we won’t give it to yours.


Sounds good! (DOG OWNER checks out at register. High-fives LOUISE. JO appears momentarily to fist bump DOG OWNER. He leaves.)


(Turns to JO) That’s going to be one happy Chomper.


(Nods) Awesome.

JO and LOUISE raise their fists in victory and leap into the air, freeze frame on their elation.

Theme from “Chariots of Fire” plays.

Go ahead, click on it.


NOTE: Be aware that any toy, if improperly used, can be a choking hazard. Please always supervise pets when playing with toys. If your pet’s teeth are in any way compromised, please check with a vet before giving them a chew toy. Also, please be sure that your dog has an age-appropriate toy. Puppies cannot always safely chew on adult toys.

Thanks for reading!

~Your Loyal Calvin & Susie Blogger

As always, check with your vet before making any changes to your pet’s diet or body care. The Calvin & Susie Blogger always researches to the best of her ability, but she is not a vet. This blog is not in any way meant to replace veterinary advice or care. When in doubt always ask a vet.

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